Letting her go

Life here continues to unfold and new phases come as quick as the previous ones came. My days of caring for little E have come to an end. I am grateful in a way that I still get to have her close. Not sure if I would have handle it better if she had to go into the unknown. I realize this may sound selfish, but sometimes from what one hears of the type of life some of these kids have had, you end up preferring them here. At least here you can care for them and make sure their basic needs are met. Yet I would love for each one to get to experience the warmth of a permanent home and family. Unfortunately, it doesn’t always happen.

I was so glad my dad was able to visit me while she was still with me. My dad has been longing and dreaming of grand-kids so he had been quite thrilled in hearing about Little E. He was so excited he even bought her a really cute outfit, which I had to take a picture of.

It has been ten days that I have not had Little E. Whenever I step back and take time and try to look at the big picture, it continually amazes me to see God’s sovereignty and provision. Our original plan was to have her transition completely until January, but when it was plain that I was the one holding it off I had to step back and consider if I was getting in the way. I thought we could have a trial night but then it was clear that it was the perfect week to do it since that week was going to be slammed with activities. Less time to think. So as I looked at the big picture, I saw God’s kindness to me in providing opportunities to keep me busy and helping me release Little E.

I shall treasure those moments I had with Little E and remember the lessons learned while I took care of her. I am happy to report that she is doing very well. I believe she has adapted very well to her caregiver. She also gets to spend more time with other toddlers so I am excited to see her development speed up a bit since she has more different interactions.

Thank you to all of you who prayed for me during these past few months. Caring for a baby is quite the challenge, specially when you are by yourself. I am grateful to God for giving me this time with little E and whether it was to prepare me for what is ahead or granting me the experience of caring for a baby, it was a blessing. Now we continue to what He brings next.