They come and go

Over the last few months we have had to bid goodbye to about 15 kids for various reasons. Some because they could no longer be here, others went back to family, and others to a new family. We’ve also had a few interns and staff end their service with us and moved on to a new phase in their lives. It would seem we are constantly having to part from people, that one would think it would get easier but it doesn’t.

After only being at the Ranch a few months, we had a teenager leave. I remember one morning as I prayed for him, God made me realize something that has stayed with me since. You often hear of how the prayers of a mother were used to bring the wayward child back to the fear of the Lord and so God opened my eyes to see that most of these kids who leave and rebel don’t have a mother who fears the Lord and will constantly cry out for them. Now I am not even close to knowing the heaviness of what mothers feel, yet that morning God laid on my heart a cry for this teenager.

This year I have had to see two boys, whom I was very close to, leave. Gosh, it has hurt to see these two go and more so to feel their absence. They made my heart smile. They were no saints, but there was something about them. I suppose you could say, God gave me a heart for them. One left in the middle of our lock-down, the other in July. Did not get to mourn much for the first, with everything going on I had no time to reflect. Yet every time the boys came over to my house to read, his absence was palpable.

The day after the second one left, I went on vacation. It was in a way perfect timing, for it gave me time to prepare, at least mentally, for his absence. But boy, how I miss them! I am grateful that we are still in touch, and I cannot wait for things to get more normal so that we can all get together.

Most of the kids that left during this time went back to family. I pray that it will indeed be a blessing for each of them to be with their family. Yet in some cases, I can’t help but wonder. So I have to remind myself, constantly, that God is their Father and He does know what is best for them. Therefore, I continue to pray for them and bless them wherever they may be. Trusting God’s handiwork around them and in them.

In June, we had 3 kids begin the adoption process. We were so thrilled for them. It is what we desire for each child to have, a family of their own. To be able to be loved and cared for in the way that God designed it. It was bitter sweet, yet it was beautiful to witness the kids embrace their new families. In July they all got to go and start a new life with their family.

During the time the kids were having video calls with their adoptive families, the other kids started reacting to idea of adoption. Reactions varied, some expressed how they did not want to be adopted while others started praying to be adopted. It was like the desire to have a family and a home was awaken in some of them.

Have you ever longed for something, then forgot or resigned yourself of not being able to have it, then something happens and that desire returns? Well, turns out that right before the adoptions started I began to struggle with a lifetime desire too. A friend of mine begun a relationship and it all pointed to marriage, which it did, and so seeing them go through the process, awakened my longing for marriage and family.

Fast forward a couple of weeks, and the adoption process starts. And so do the reactions of the kids. One day I had a two siblings drop by my house after breakfast, I was finishing mine. So they just hung out, while I finished and got ready to go into the office. I figured they’d leave once I was ready, but no they followed me to the office and stayed with me the whole day. I began to work and they just sat in the chairs we have in the lobby, all day. I would occasionally talk to them, but overall I did my work. I would have thought they’d be bored out of their minds! Maybe they were, but they stayed. I couldn’t understand the reason, until the following morning. By the way, these two are adoptable and because one of them is a few years shy of turning 18, the odds are not that favorable.

The following morning, as I prayed and thought on the kids. God once again opened my eyes to see and understand that those kids who were longing for a family were feeling the same way I was feeling about my own longing. It encouraged me to see that, for I knew then how to pray for them. How kind of God to use the very things we struggle with to make us not only aware of the feelings/struggles of others but to know how they feel that we may also know how to encourage, love, and intercede for them.

I’ll end this with an encouragement…or at least I hope it is to you as well. Is there someone in your life that you feel is struggling with a similar struggle you have or have had in the past? If so, I encourage you to pray for them. For God has already prepared you in order for you to lift them up, so that they may also experience God’s sustaining grace and favor.

I’d also like to ask for your continued prayers, because just as some go, new kids arrive. We continue to need commited staff to care for and love these kids. Just as it is hard for us to see some go, we also need to embrace those arriving. Please pray that God would continue to give us the ability to love those who continue to arrive, that we won’t shy away from giving of ourselves in fear of losing them in the future but that we would allow God to give us a heart for them as well.